my mouth tastes like poor choices
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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