i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
