is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
