honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
