out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
