so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just tell him i said nine months
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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