i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
