I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He passed out mid-signature
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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