There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
