I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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