He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
