I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
