Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
