PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
