No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
