yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do herpes really smell.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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