You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
