I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
