I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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