Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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