I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
