She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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