Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
