And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
