kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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