Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
