No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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