would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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