these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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