Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
