Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
