Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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