So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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