How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
