Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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