she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
