Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its about making memories worth repressing
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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