He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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