what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
