i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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