i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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