put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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