it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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