you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
