never play flip cup with pint glasses
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
