Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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