I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
