Christians are straight up FREAKS
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you win again, gameday.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
