I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
