Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
