Im at strip club and am horny
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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