I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
