we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
