we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am available for nakedness
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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