all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
