"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
