I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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