one two three fourrrrnication!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The Olympian is in my bed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
