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I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
3pm strippers are depressing
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
