yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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