i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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