Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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