So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
