you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize