Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
