when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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