You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
