btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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