He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
